A mother's conflicted emotions

Shawna expressed a sentiment many mothers face—fear of turning your child over to someone you don’t know and possibly can’t understand. She really wants the free time a nanny could provide, but she struggles and asks herself, how could I let a stranger do this job? “My sister had a lot of success with her Filipina nanny so I found a lady a few weeks ago, and I should have hired her, but I didn’t. I’m overthinking this, but…” On the other hand, Shawna feels her sister is missing out on years and experiences she will never have again. It’s caused a rift between them. “I was kind of amazed really. I mean, weren’t we raised in the same house, under the same roof?” Shawna brings many conflicting views into consideration. Here at the park she notices a toddler crying for about the third time in twenty minutes. He is here with his Latina nanny. Shawna says, “She should take him home, go for a walk or something, but she stays so she can talk to friends.” She adds, “And they’re illegal. They don’t get paid very well, and have no benefits. No wonder they don’t do a good job.” A few days earlier I’d seen her with a temporary babysitter. Shawna pushed the baby in one stroller while a Latin American woman pushed the older child in another. How are you, I asked. “Good today, I have help,” Shawna answered. I encouraged her to meet more parents and nannies and keep talking in order to resolve her frustration. Privately I hoped she would come to appreciate the value of Latina nannies’ labor. Later I ask the crying child’s nanny what happened. His communication skills are underdeveloped and he really benefits from time in the park with other children and adults. The nanny explained that he cried because another boy refused to share candy.